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SDA Personal Ministries

How to avoid offending friends

how to not offend

God must be most important

God must be the most important thing in your life and He is who you are accountable to. No one else is as important as God and His word.

God told Abraham to sacrifice his only son as a test and to show us all at what cost we serve Him. We must surrender ALL. Being afraid of offending people was not a priority for Noah, Nathan, Samuel, John the Baptist, Paul, and the hundreds of other prophets over the centuries.

BUT there are ways to avoid offending friends and family. Just running around scolding people for not reading their Bibles or yelling hell fire and brimstone messages are not the answer either.

Yes, you may offend them, but they will be a lot more offended & angry with you during the judgment because you were too afraid to tell them about salvation thru Jesus Christ.

"Let your light shine forth in such clear, steady rays, that no man may stand up in the judgment, and say, 'Why did not you tell me about this truth? Why did you not care for my soul? Why did you love the world and its amusements so much, that you impressed me with the thought that they could not be wrong? Why did you not walk in the path cast up for the ransomed of the Lord to walk in, and make straight paths for your feet? You knew that we were in darkness, and your crooked steps have led us on into utter ruin.'" {RH, August 28, 1888 par. 13}

 

Love them first and foremost!

FIRST, they must understand you love them no matter what they believe. Ostracizing people is not part of the gospel plan. (See the PS at the bottom of this page as well.)

Jesus was loving and yet He was always saying a word in due season. Look at the story of the woman at the well. HERE is a perfect example for us to follow. Jesus was able to speak the truth and yet she still understood he did NOT condemn her. I hope you really take that in for a minute. We can do all things as Christ. Thus we can speak to people without hurting them (long term) and they can see we still love them. Truth can be shared in love.

 

Second, know when to stop talking, NEVER be pushy.

SECOND, know when to stop!!! You are NOT the Holy Spirit. It is NOT your job to convict of sin or even to convert anyone. Your job is to share the gospel, be there for questions and support, sow seeds, and garner the harvest. Your friends and family will NOT come to you for help if they think you are just going to lecture, criticize, condemn, or preach. Be open enough so they know what you believe and why, then leave it at that until they ask for MORE. You can send them magazine subscriptions or write notes occasionally or send books for gifts, but do NOT hound them. I know how hard it is to love someone and watch them struggle without hope and faith, but we must realize God has NOT given us the right to badger people. This is WRONG and WORSE it makes it harder for God to do His work.

 

 

PS: What about "shake the dust off you feet" Matt 10:14 and "they are heathens to you" Matt 18:17? Well, Matt 18:17 in context is about making amends with someone whom you've offended already or is offending you. This is a passage about believers dealing with issues with believers and NOT about witnessing. What about Matt 10:14? This was VERY specific counsel to the disciples as they went sharing the gospel WITH the Jews. The chosen nation who should have been receptive. This is not speaking of door knocking, otherwise colporters would be making a lot of 'lost' souls.

 

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